Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
by Charlie Kaufman
(to Joel)
I saw you sitting over here. By yourself. I thought, thank God, someone
normal, who doesn't know how to interact at these things either. I can't tell
you how happy I am to hear that you don't ever know what to say. I mean, I
don't mean I'm happy you're uncomfortable, but, y'know... I'm such a loser.
Every time I come to a party I tell myself I'm going to be different and it's
always exactly the same and then I hate myself after for being such a clod. But
I don't know, maybe we're the normal ones, y'know? I mean what kind of people
do well at this stuff. I'm Clementine. Can I borrow a piece of your chicken? Oh
God, how horrid. You should try Xanax. I mean, it's a chemical and all, but it
works... And it works just by having it around, knowing that it's there. Like
insurance. Have you ever read Anna Akhmatova? Really? Me, too! I don't meet
people who even know who she is and I work in a book store... Do you know her
poem that starts "Seaside gusts of wind, and a house in which we don't
live..." I love that poem. It breaks my heart. I’m so excited you know it.
Look, houses in which we don’t live. I wish we did. You married? Let’s move
into this neighbourhood. So, Joel, no jokes about my name?
